


Aang and the Avatar

by audreyii_fic



Series: The Sparrowkeet Series [12]
Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Angst, F/M, Friendship, Philosophy, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-06-17
Updated: 2013-06-17
Packaged: 2017-12-15 07:15:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,245
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/846804
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/audreyii_fic/pseuds/audreyii_fic
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>As Sozin's Comet approaches, Aang struggles with what comes next. Sparrowkeet!verse.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Aang and the Avatar

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: Ooh. Philosophy. My favorite. Just for the record, I'm not personally arguing in any one direction; I'm just describing the positions I think the characters would take.
> 
> This takes place immediately before Of Edged Weapons and Eavesdropping (Chapter Four).

 

 

 

_**Aang and the Avatar** _

__

__

* * *

_We must as second best, as people say, take the least of the evils. **  
Aristotle, "Nichomachean Ethics"**_

__

* * *

 

"I AM _MELON LORD!_ "

The plan goes off without a hitch. Sokka and Suki attack from the left, drawing Toph's flaming boulders. Zuko and Katara take out rock soldiers with their strange hybrid attacks that blur the line between fire and water. Aang creeps in unnoticed from the right, then runs, then leaps...

...and then...

...and then...

"What are you waiting for? Take him out!"

Aang stares at the Melon Lord, then drops his eyes quickly. Even facing a _fruit_ feels wrong, let alone...

"I can't," he says hoarsely. "I can't do it."

 

* * *

**Giatsu said** :

_All life is sacred, even the life of the tiniest spider-fly caught in its own web._

* * *

 

There is no conversation as Katara passes out the evening meal. Aang accepts his without a word, and wonders if the fruit slices on his plate are the ones Sokka sliced from the Melon Lord's head.

It is finally the one made of fire who breaks the tense silence by throwing his bowl to the ground. The porcelain shatters against the stone steps. "This is _ridiculous!_ " Zuko yells as he jumps to his feet, and his shadow casts over Aang. "You _have to do it!_ You _know_ you have to!"

Katara's sigh is louder than Zuko's shout, somehow. "Zuko-"

"No. He's right." Sokka is as cold as Aang has ever heard him; it's easy to forget, sometimes, that he came from the South Pole too. "There's no point in pretending. Aang has to kill Ozai and that's that."

Aang ponders for a moment that this is the first time Sokka and Zuko have been on the same side in over a week. At least he's bringing people together. That's the duty of the Avatar, after all.

"Ozai's a human being," Aang mumbles.

"Barely," says Sokka.

 

* * *

**Roku says** :

_In my life, I tried to be disciplined and show restraint - but it backfired when Fire Lord Sozin took advantage of my restraint and mercy. If I had been more decisive and acted sooner, I could have stopped Sozin and stopped the war before it started._

_I offer you this wisdom, Aang: You must be decisive._

* * *

 

Aang sets aside his dinner. He wasn't hungry to begin with, but now if he eats he's sure he'll get sick. "There's gotta be another way," he says. He looks up warily. Zuko and Sokka glower; Suki frowns; Toph stares sightlessly into space. "There's got to be a way to stop him without killing him."

"There's not." Suki's voice is flat.

"But-"

"What did you think was going to happen? Did you think no one would die?"

"No-"

"Did you think you could just glide over it all while everyone else got their hands dirty?" It is clearly not Suki the Friend talking; it is Suki the Kyoshi Warrior, and she is frightening. "All of us have to take lives in the next few days. You too. You don't get a pass just because you're a monk."

Aang flushes. The shame pulls his heart into his toes, but it doesn't change anything. "It goes against everything the Airbenders taught me," he says.

"Tough," says Suki. "It's war."

 

* * *

**Bumi said** :

_Sooner or later, you'll have to strike back._

* * *

 

"Look," says Toph. Her feet dig into the steps, and she is more serious than Aang has ever seen her. "It's not like you're killing him for revenge or anything. I mean, _that_ would be really wrong."

Aang shakes his head. "It's still killing."

"But it's saving a lot of lives in the progress," she argues. "The Fire Lord's about to wipe out everyone in Ba Sing Se. If he isn't stopped... that's the biggest city in the world. _Millions_ of people, Aang."

If Toph isn't calling him 'Twinkletoes', then she means business.

"But what if I can find a way to stop him that won't kill him?" Aang raises his hands helplessly. "I mean... there has to be _something_ , right? Something we just haven't thought of yet..."

Toph just shakes her head.

 

* * *

**Kyoshi says** :

_In my day, Chin the Conqueror threatened to throw the World out of balance. I stopped him and the world entered a great era of peace._

But you didn't really kill Chin. Technically he fell to his own doom because he was too stubborn to get out of the way.

_Personally, I don't really see the difference. But I assure you, I would have done whatever it took to stop Chin._

_I offer you this wisdom, Aang: Only justice will bring peace._

* * *

 

Zuko takes a very deep breath, and when he exhales the smell of smoke fills the courtyard. "Okay," he says. "Okay. Listen to me. You need to understand about the Fire Nation. Killing... it's different there."

Aang shakes his head. "Death is the same everywhere."

" _No_ , it's not. Not everyone believes the way Airbenders do."

Aang thinks things would be better if everyone did.

"In the Fire Nation," Zuko says, "there are duels of honor called Agni Kai. You know about those, right?" At Aang's nod, Zuko continues, "You fight until one side yields. And sometimes that's it and it's over. But for the really big things, the person who loses dies."

Faces pale. "Really?" says Katara.

"Really. And it's okay. The defeated foe acknowledges his loss, and the victor takes the loser's head and that restores the foe's honor. It's an act of respect."

" Wow. That's... kind of messed up," says Toph. "Even for the Fire Nation."

Zuko waves his hand dismissively. "Debate it later. The point is, Aang, you're basically fighting an Agni Kai with a _Fire Lord_. You'll be showing _mercy_ by killing Ozai. Defeating him and then forcing him live in dishonor and shame is much worse in the eyes of the Fire Nation. No one will expect you to leave him alive."

"There," Sokka says decisively. "Even the guy's son is telling you to lop his head off. You're in the clear, Aang."

Zuko looks away.

 

* * *

**Wan Shi Tong said** :

_You think you're the first person to believe their war was justified?_

* * *

 

Aang knows he shouldn't just keep asking until he gets an answer he likes, but... "What if I can't do it? I've never taken a life before."

"Yes, you have."

Everyone turns to look at Katara. "When?" Aang demands.

"At the North Pole. You killed Zhao, and the people in those ships."

Aang winces. The memories of that terrible night are murky, but... "I didn't do it on purpose, though. I was in the Avatar State. That wasn't me."

"Exactly," says Katara. Her gaze is sad but steady. "Aang, maybe _you_ can't take a life... but the Avatar can."

Aang's voice rises. "So you think I should do it, too? You think I should just _kill Ozai?_ "

Katara's eyes fill with tears, and Zuko shoots Aang a murderous look. "I think there are terrible things in the world," she says quietly. She looks down at her fingers, which crook and twist together. "There are things that _no one_ should ever do. I'm just... not sure that killing is one of them."

"How can you _say_ that?" He thought for sure that Katara, at least, would be on his side...

"If you enter the Avatar State," Katara says, "you can do it. And Aang... you know what you have to do for that."

Aang's heart sinks.

 

* * *

**Kuruk says** :

_When I was young, I was always a "go with the flow" kind of Avatar. People seemed to work out their own problems, and there was peace and good times in the world._

_But then I lost the woman I loved to Koh the Face Stealer. It was my fault; if I had been more attentive and more active, I could have saved her._

_Aang, you must actively shape your own destiny, and the destiny of the world._

* * *

 

After that, everyone leaves him alone.

Aang walks the beach and watches how the waves push in and pull out in an endless cycle. Momo trots along besides him, and Aang takes comfort in his furry presence. The lemur is, like he and Appa, the last link to a civilization that died long ago.

Maybe the Airbending philosophy died with the Airbenders themselves.

"What do you think I should do, Momo?" Aang asks, glancing down.

Momo tilts his head to the side and chitters in an uncertain sort of way.

"Would you do it?" Aang persists. He comes to a stop and his feet sink a little into the wet sand. "Would you kill Ozai? I mean, if you weren't twelve inches tall?"

There is a long, serious pause as Momo seems to consider the question - then he turns, grooms a flea from his fur, and eats it.

Aang sighs. "You're not a vegetarian. You don't understand."

 

* * *

**Iroh said** :

_It is a very difficult thing, for a man to change his view of the world. You are seeing life in terms of good and bad, right and wrong, success and failure. That is a rigid stance that will only lead you to defeat again and again._

* * *

 

He goes to Appa and buries his face in the sky bison's side. The warm fur comforts him, as it has since he was young.

 _Is_ he young? Everyone else seems to think he is. He doesn't feel it, though; there are thousands of years pulsing through his veins. But then, at other times, he just wants to play and jump and run as far away from all of this as he can possibly go. Past the very last volcano of the Fire Nation, into the endless uncharted oceans beyond until he runs out of energy and skims across the sea.

"What do you think, Appa?" he asks, his voice muffled.

Appa just rumbles.

Aang wonders if the real reason he doesn't want to do it is because _Zuko_ thinks he should.

 

* * *

**Yangchen says** :

_I know that you're a gentle spirit, and the monks have taught you well. But this isn't about you; this is about the world._

But the monks taught me that I had to detach myself from the world so my spirit could be free.

_Many great and wise air nomads have detached themselves and achieved spiritual enlightenment. But the Avatar can never do it, because your sole duty is to the world._

_Here is my wisdom for you: Selfless duty calls you to sacrifice your own spiritual needs and do whatever it takes to protect the world._

* * *

 

He knows he shouldn't hate. It goes against everything the monks taught him. It goes against everything _everyone_ has taught him, even the ones who think it's his duty to take lives.

He's trying. He really is. He thinks maybe he's getting better. It really takes too much energy to be furious every minute of every day. And as his rage has lowered to simmering resentment, his bending has improved. He hardly ever sets himself on fire anymore.

The ancient voices inside him whisper that maybe he hates Zuko out of habit.

But Zuko took Katara.

The Fire Nation has taken everything Aang ever loved.

It is easier to focus on being angry at Zuko than it is to focus on what is coming, what everyone says he's going to have to do, even though they all seem to have completely different reasons that don't mesh together at all and yet somehow all arrive at the same conclusion even though it doesn't make sense and it's not _fair_ , Aang thinks. It _isn't_. The world shouldn't be like this, and isn't the Avatar supposed to change the world?

Even if the other Avatars couldn't?

 

* * *

**Pathik said** :

_You cannot lie about your own nature. You must accept that you are the Avatar._

* * *

 

When Aang returns to the house he sets up on the balcony and tries to meditate. Momo sits curled at his side; he listens to the lemur's steady rise and fall of breath, listens to the crackle of the altar candles, listens to the wind rustling the trees. But he also listens to the argument down the hall.

"He's not going to do it."

"Yes, he will. You don't know Aang like I do. He has... trouble sometimes, but he always does the right thing in the end. Give him time."

"We don't _have_ time! He's not going to do it, so we need to figure out something else. _Now._ "

Aang focuses on the air. He pulls each breath in, touches it for a moment, strokes it on its way out. The tiny flickering heat of the candles warms his face.

"Aang's been through a lot, Zuko, all right? It's not easy for him-"

"Are you kidding? It's easier for _him_ than it is for anyone else! Why should _he_ get out of it when the rest of us can't? It's not like _he_ has to help kill his father!"

A long silence, followed by a soft, "Oh, Zuko..."

"I'm going to bed." And a slamming door.

Aang clears his mind and releases this world until he falls asleep.

In his dreams, he feels the call of an island.

 

* * *

**The Lion-Turtle says** :

_The true mind can weather all the lies and illusions without being lost. The true heart can touch the poison of hatred without being harmed. Since beginningless time, darkness thrives in the void... but always yields to purifying light._

_Wait for him. He will come._

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: Yeah, Zuko's position is a very, very, very rough bastardization of the samurai codes of honor, which are obviously way more complex (and interesting!) than presented here. But canon Fire Nation honor seems to more-or-less draw from Bushido, so... there ya go.


End file.
